Cartoon by Dave Walker..

WHICH FRUIT WOULD YOU OFFER TO your friend? Hey, no cheating pls. Aside from delighting your friend with a VIRTUAL fresh fruit, THIS IS ALSO A PERSONALITY TEST… =)

1. Orange

2. Apple

3. Banana

4. Coconut

5. Pineapple

6. Papaya

7. Mango

8. Cherry

9. Grapes

10. Peach

11. Pear

SCROLL DOWN FOR RESULTS…

REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE TO POST YOUR FRUIT WITH ALL HONESTY! Then, comment

ORANGE: If orange, it speaks of a person who has enduring patience and will-power. You like to do things slowly, but very thoroughly and are completely undaunted by hard work. You tend to be shy but are a reliable and trustworthy friend. You have an aesthetic bent of mind. You select your
partner with care, and you love with all your heart and you are not in it for just a fling. You avoid conflict at all costs.

APPLE: If apple, you are an extravagant, impulsive, and outspoken person often with a bit of a temper. While you may not be the best organizer yourself, you make a good team leader and are good at taking things forward. You can take quick action in most situations. You enjoy travel immensely.
You ooze with charm when you are with your partner. You have an enthusiasm for life unmatched by most.

BANANA: You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm, and sympathetic by nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are quite timid by nature.People often take advantage of your sweet temperedness and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your partner in every which way, both for their mental and physical beauty! Because of the way you are, your
relationship is always very much in harmony!

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness.

The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry…..How soon can I go home?"

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

http://jokes.comedycentral.com/random_joke.aspx?joke_id=11142

In high school, you do homework. In college, you study.

In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.

In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed. In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.

In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.
In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.

via

• Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction.
Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

• Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved.
Assistant: Why don't you marry her?
Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.

• Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man. • When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."

• Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor "
"Dentist" "Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!“

• Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."

• Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100. Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

• Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!
Hey, WITH pain it costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.

• Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $200
Patient: $200 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like.

Miss Communication
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother,Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got
injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Job Opening at the CIA

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took the first man to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!"

"You can't be serious," said the man, "I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried," he said, "but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes; take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another, until the clip was empty. Then they heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "Somebody loaded the gun with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."